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South Florida Business and Wealth Magazine November issue, How to Lower Your STRESS, Family Office Trends

Episode 290: 11-13-14

South Florida Business and Wealth Magazine November issue

Kevin Gale, publisher and editor-in-chief of South Florida Business and Wealth Magazine, discusses the November issue of SFBW, a media partner of Fried on Business. This is a new monthly publication being launched by Lifestyle Media Group, which already publishes 10 titles under the Life and Lifestyle names in southern Florida.

SFBW is the culmination of a vision developed by LMG Chairman Gary Press and Kevin Gale to help propel the South Florida economy, provide insight and recognize the achievers who are driving our region’s success.

We will discuss what to look for in the upcoming issue of the magazine.

How to Lower Your STRESS

We talk to Dr. Heidi Allespach, Ph.D., assistant professor of family medicine and community health at UHealth.

Countless ailments are caused or exacerbated by stress and negative thoughts, explains Allespach, a University of Miami psychologist who set out to treat patients holistically when she began her career with the Miller School and the nearby Jefferson Reaves Sr. Health Center in 1999.

Last year Allespach started the Stress Management Program, which doctors at Jefferson Reaves use to guide patients through a series of brief calming exercises in the exam room.

The aim is to reduce emotional stressors and instill healthier thought patterns, which in turn helps improve a patient’s physical condition. The results, Allespach said, “have been remarkable.” We discuss how she’s integrated stress management into patient visits throughout various departments.

We talk about how you can reduce stress and improve your health.

Family Office Trends

Thomas Handler is an advanced planning attorney focused on the analysis and structuring of sophisticated estate plans and family offices, and handling taxation and business planning issues for business owners, executives, professional athletes, celebrities and family offices.

Handler has extensive experience in the analysis, design and implementation of domestic and international business planning, financial and estate planning, asset protection, family office compliance and advanced tax planning strategies.

Mr. Handler is a managing partner in Handler Thayer, LLP, where he chairs the firm’s Advanced Planning & Family Office Practice Group.

We discuss family office design trends.

Episode 290: 11-13-14  (To download, right-click and select “Save Link As”.)


Jim: Alright! I am in South Florida, I am informed, I am connected; all the other things guys said at the beginning and I am going to prove it to you today. First I want to thank Richard Wilson was on the show last week and then he had this great wealth management conference here in Miami, family office strategies, everything from a single family office to billionaire family offices. Amazing for me in business, life changing! You’ll hear more later on the show when I interview guys I met there, Tom Handler. I like Tom but this guy got it going. If you want to protect your assets then you want to listen to what Tom has to say at the end of the show. Coming up first, we are going to have my good friend Kevin Gayle. We are going to talk about what’s in South Florida Business and wealth magazine, we are going to talk about everything except my column, oh there is Ron Book, high-five to Ronny and lets see, we’ll also talk about how to reduce your stress at work with our special uHealth guest Dr. Heidi Allespach, I am sure I butchered that but we will be right back after this with my good buddy Kevin Gayle talking about What’s current can you see in the South Florida Business and Wealth. Wanda, it’s all yours girl.

Kevin Gayle: It’s better to get Fried than fried when it comes to business. This is Kevin Gayle Publisher and Editor of South Florida Business and Wealth, your source for In-depth business coverage. We are more than just a magazine, check us out at

Speaker: South Florida’s only business radio station.

Speaker: Part of the Wall Street Business Network.

Speaker: 880 AM, The Biz. You are listening to Fried on Business, to talk to Jim and his guests; call 305-541-2350. Now back to your host Jim Fried.

Jim: Alright, I am rocking it, I got my Dolphins shirt on, throw back Dan Marino Jersey. Hey check out my Facebook and Twitter feed and you will see them both. I want to give a big shout out to app Ustadium, my favorite new app, they do all their social places or you can go to talk about your game day experience. I am going to be there tweeting away, we are going to have a great time at the dolphin game but now lets talk about what’s going on here in South Florida in the business and wealth sector. We’ve got my good friend Kevin Gayle. I am going to give it you Kevin. Kevin is the editor in chief of South Florida Business and Wealth magazine, it’s a lifestyle magazine. They focus on business and wealth issues here in South Florida. Kevin, welcome back to the show!

Kevin: Jim, its great to be back here. We do have to worry about that buffalo defensive line tonight. That’s sort of in my mind in the background here.

Jim: Hopefully, they had a bunch of wings before they left and they’ll get a little upset stomach, hey but they don’t have C.J Spiller so we should be a little bit better off there and got to say, I am really enjoying the dolphin offence. Hopefully, they can put some points up on the board but Kevin I am going to height the ball to you. Tell me what we got in this month’s South Florida Business and Wealth magazine. We already mentioned, we got Ron book in there. What’s Ronny doing in there?

Kevin: Well, we had a CEO Connect with Ron and then Ron headlined it the Uber Lobbyist

Jim: Oh, he is. Like high-five to the coach.

Kevin: Yeah, so it was a fun evening you know. Ron really has the insight view what’s going on in Tallahassee. It was great, it was an intimate event. We asked a lot of questions, the audience got to ask some questions. Probably the one thing that I think surprised him and me is how the vote on medical marijuana came out at the time the polls were already running 80%. We had blitz at the last moments and poof, there went the approval of medical marijuana, its sort of went up and smoke there.

Jim: Right, I think that all the people kind of stayed home watched the Returns on TV with a bowl of chips.

Kevin: [Laughs]

Jim: Now, how about this article on home automation, its something that everybody talks about but not too many people do and it looks like Tiger Direct has something coming up here on that.

Kevin: Yeah, I went to the open house they had when they unveiled that down in Aventura and you know I am a little bit of geek myself. I like sort of things …

Jim: Oh really?

Kevin: Yes sir. So, home automation I think is something that for an average person is a little difficult. How would you put these different pieces of the systems, the cameras, the alarms etc together and their credit. They came up with a very logical way to explain it to the public and even color coating some of the components on the shelves. So, nice innovating thing by a local company; so owe their recognition.

Jim: Now, here is something that I think all business people need to take note of and that’s the increasing level of demand for highly skilled unique employees in the market. It looks like you are talking to Mitch Kramer about that.

Kevin: You know, Mitch is a great guy. He was sponsor of our Apogee Awards which just happened last week and Mitch has a really good recruiting firm. He is very much into technology and so the story is information about Mitch but It also has some real good news you can use. I think a lot of employers have gotten a sort of spoiled by the recession that you didn’t have to be that aggressive and salaries, benefits and things like that. You know what Mitch is telling people is watch out, if you are not careful, you are going to lose somebody and also if you have to recruit somebody, you might have a little bit of sticker shock these days.

Jim: Wow, and then you mentioned the Apogee Awards, who are couple of big winners there?

Kevin: Well, somebody you and I know very well. We toured a condo with him Carlos Rosso.

Jim: Oh, he’s got a hard white hat on in that photo we took.

Kevin: He does indeed, Edguardo De Fortuna, John Kanas of BankUnited.

Jim: Wow, those are some big hitters.

Kevin: So, yeah we had a very nice evening, very nice networking, high end networking, a lovely awards program and very nice attendance.

Jim: Well, John Kanas that’s the guy who moved the whole market on the financial crises. He was one of the first movers. Well done to him on the thing that he did. Now tell me about Kimberly Graham and why we have to know about the fact that she is in technology?

Kevin: Well what I think is a thing that is important for our economy and this is where I am trying to use a magazine as a bit of a bully pulpit. Having been down in 30 years and seen the real estate cycles what you I am sure you familiar with..

Jim: No we don’t have. Everything here is always on a standard flat upward plain. What are you talking about?

Kevin: So have you seen a little movement in technology here? I am seeing a little movement in technology here, I am seeing a little more activity. You know what many medina’s done with emerge Americas so what Kim has done is very innovative FAUs, they got a million dollars from the state legislature, three million from the university and they have set up an accelerator that ultimately they want to have 40 different companies in it. So they’ll have a collaborative work space, they will have team mentoring and probably most interesting of all, they each get $25,000. So the ideas to grow them for a year and then you know, do something else or they have a business to launch.

Jim: Well, I am just letting everybody know that the pops they’re hearing in the background is me getting retweeted for getting ready for Miami Dolphins Game. I want to give high-five out to Rick for retweeting it, I want to give the, another tweet guys Bergstrom Center, again Ustadium retweeted me. We are going crazy here, we are going viral. I’ve got all kinds of people treating me and connecting with me but lets see, tell me a little bit about Rocco’s Tacos, what’s up with this guys? Looks really cool!

Kevin: Rocco basically started out as a bus boy. So, very modest beginning, you know open Rocco’s tacos. I think might maybe the 1st one in West Palm Beach, in Las Olas and now he is opening in Brooklyn. So, that’s pretty cool that somebody in the food industry is going back home to Brooklyn and open up a restaurant.

Jim: What makes his tacos so special?

Kevin: You know the thing that I remember most of all is that the Tacos are great but what I really loved there is they make the Guacamole in front of you and I am a big Guac fan. So I think that’s the coolest thing they do.

Jim: I love Guacamole. Now one of your advertisers, they were an Up and Comer Award winner, in 2015 is Northwestern Mutual. Northwestern Mutual, here those guys have my life insurance. Tell me a little bit about them.

Kevin: Well, they’ve been a really good supporter of the launch of the SFBW and you know insurance companies are sometimes underappreciated for what they can do for people. There is a lot of great tax saving type things you can do with insurance and they are one of the most prominent companies in the nation doing that.

Jim: Okay and it looks to me like, you’ve got the 2015 leaders in law awards coming up how do people submit nominations for that.

Kevin: Well, you can go to and look at the “Events” tab and there is a little form, you can fill out, you can put as much information you know and you don’t have all the information will go contact the people and chase them down. So if you have a great lawyer, maybe there is a coworker of your firm and something like that. It’d be great to have a lot of support from the community. This is our second year doing it, the first year though is under the SFBW brand.

Jim: Awesome. Listen, we are going to be back after this. I am going to seize the next segment, go back. You will feel what’s coming here in the South Florida. We are going to talk a little bit about Art Basel. Wanda, take us away, we will be back talking Art Basel with Kevin Gayle; editor in chief South Florida Business and Wealth magazine. Wanda, all yours. [Song Played]

Jim: I am playing that just for my wife, Vivian. Honey, I can’t wait to see you tonight, I am going to give you some love and you know else is terrific on the love department, my guys at Warren and Henry.

Sally Nickolas: Hi, I am Sally Nickolas Associate Publisher of South Florida Business and Wealth taken monthly, South Florida Business and Wealth magazine provides insightful strategic knowledge that will keep you on top of the business news and up to the minute opportunities that will make the difference to your bottom line. to learn more.

Jim: Alright, if that’s the music, you know what time is now just a few hours away. I am going to be up there at Sun Life stadium tonight, Dolphins, Bills, divisional; big game. You can still go to to get your tickets. You know, we all are stronger together dolphins, there is still a limited number of tickets and if you want the best price; go to Get yours, join me. See ya at the game tonight.

[Commercial Break]

Jim: Alright, I want to give a shout out to some of my friends I saw at the conference. I want to say hey to Katie and to Mike and to Jessie and Ashley. I want to say, I’ll see you tonight at the game. Oh my Gosh, can you folks tell how much I love doing this. Oh my goodness. Alright Kevin we are back and we are better than ever. So tell me now more about what the folks had to say about Art Basel. Basel me with your brilliance.

Kevin: [Laughs] Well, I was collaborated with our team at Lifestyle Magazines and you know, Art Basel is one of the signature things in South Florida. So, on one level, it’s a great art exhibition that’s making us cool and hip. There is also a huge business event so went to sort of spotlight that, we provided some tips on some of the cool things to see there. We talked a little bit about Goldman family and the key role that they played in redevelopment in Miami.

Jim: High-five to my buddy Joe Furst.

Kevin: [Laughs]

Jim: So, now I’ve been really wanting to see this for a while since I first read about it. It’s your first article, its 60,000 square ft. French inspired mansion on the Atlantic Ocean in the Hillsboro beach. What’s up with this?

Kevin: That is that, as far as we know, the most expensive listing in the United States and I think our opening spread is of the Grand Stairway which is 2 million dollars just by itself.

Jim: First of all, you are right. That’s what the photo is, that’s one heck of a stairway, stairway to heaven thereon.

Kevin: Yeah, exactly.

Jim: Now, lets see. Tech Runway FAU, you know FAU doesn’t get a lot of PR down here in Miami Dade County. What’s going on up there with them?

Kevin: Well, you know FAU is sort of interesting. FAU AND FIU, I think there is a lot of parallels, you know one of the things I tell people is we are a relatively young area.

Jim: Oh, yeah.

Kevin: So, our university is relatively young. You know its amazing, you go out in FIU if you haven’t been there and say 10 years and its like. Wao, this is turning into a real campus.

Jim: Even wanting to take some land, you know to expand it for you.

Kevin: To the fair grounds, yeah. So, FAU, they built a huge stadium a few years ago. It also happens to be next to Bookers executive airport and so that’s where the runway name is coming from. Now, they have a major incubator up there, they have an accelerator and you know sort of expanding the ecosystem down here. You have things like launch pad at UM, venture hive, a lab. So you know lets hope that there is a great company that comes out of one of these places. You know lets have the next Amazon here instead of Jeff Bezos going to school down here and going up to Seattle and starting at there.

Jim: I think you are going to see more and more that down here at this wealth event that I had again. They were just, Matt was there. We were talking to tech investors, I met them; it was really awesome. Now this kind of freaked me out when I opened up the magazine and I saw my old friend Arnaud Karsenti with his buddy Mike Nunziata here. These guys really have it going, when I got to hear an article about them?

Kevin: Well, they’ve partnered with a Spanish development company and they are doing a lot of really cool projects in Brickell. One that I am sort of familiar up within Brevard, there was a golf course up in Brevard that became a center of a huge political scandal because there was some questionable activity.

Jim: Hijinks?

Kevin: Yeah, Hijinks.

Jim: Government Hijinks in Brevard?

Kevin: I know, there is no county that has moral lock and having that by itself down here but they’ve taken this thing from the owners who ran some problems with the politicians, politicians went to jail. Now they are actually developing and it’s an affordable housing right by the term pike.

Jim: Tell me a little bit about Comvest, it seems like Michael Fawkes’s really got it going.

Kevin: Yeah, Comvest is a great example of private equity down here. They are pretty well established and private equity is something I want to pay attention to. I think it’s a growing sector down here, they are one of the most established players down here.

Jim: So, what I am missing? You know what, we’ve talked about this month’s magazine, that’s out. What’s coming up?

Kevin: Well, coming up. We all have a very big report on the Apogee Awards. So, you can see who all the honorees there, will have picture of the party. Have a very interesting story about a Gentleman from New York who was a world class recruiter in the tech field up there and its sort of an interesting life story. The guy was, by his own admission, a bit of Juvenile delinquent as a kid and growing up in New York City.

Jim: Oh, come on. Who wasn’t?

Kevin: [Laughs] He’s gotten through building huge companies before. He and his son had this idea that maybe they would retire to Florida and open up. Shop or something but now he is building up another 18 million dollar company, story about his life and his changes and his challenges. It is also story about how somebody can come from the northeast and really build a sizeable company down here. We have all the attributes you need. You can have the quality of life, the lack of personal income tax and your business.

Jim: Alright I thought you were saying lack of personal income. oh no, now we have got the retailers here Darcy smiling face my favorite estate columnist after you of course.

Kevin: Thank you.

Jim: So what Darcy going to tell me?

Kevin: Well. You know retail is, she and i had this conversation few years ago before the bust about, you know we are under retail down here.

Jim: Well you used to be.

Kevin: Yeah. So there is actually a bit of activity going on retail and other topics, she is looking at is the office market down here. It is sort of an interesting we haven’t had a lot of new construction since the recession.

Jim: sshhh…sshhh… don’t tell people what I am ready to do about myself.

Kevin: You know just give us the scoop right on the area and you are on the way for magazine.

Jim: Well you are going to have to wait. I am going to give you the scoop. You will get it the magazine but offices in the crosses here many people. One of the reasons its in the crosses, one of the issues you have, is that the condo guys can still pay more, they are still bidding up the land. They are making unrealistic expectations, the norm and its tough to make the numbers work across the product types but hey I am not the one that’s given the interview. I am the one that’s doing the interview. So what else do we have coming up, we’ve got a couple more minutes. Where do we going to look forward in coming weeks and months in South Florida Business and wealth as we interview new people and continue to expand your franchise.

Kevin: Well, one of the things I am looking at is we have an editorial advisory board which is a really talented group.

Jim: Everybody except for Jeremy Larkin.

Kevin: [Laughs] Now you can’t just Jeremy, Jeremy is a good friend of mine.

Jim: Listen, I love Jeremy and Jeremy is one of my favorites. Jeremy and his team are actually some of the most unique people in the market. They have built a real estate operating company from the ground up and have kept it going through the recession. My hats are off to all the guys over at his NAI Miami shop.

Kevin: They had a very interesting conference last week.

Jim: I was there.

Kevin: Yeah, you were there. So, what was interesting was they talked a lot about a lot of different markets, sort of interesting though when you hear somebody who has a big territory and they are managing 500,000 square ft. of commercial space which is, not much by our standards down here but the good thing is that estate seems to be doing very well.

Jim: Yeah, it really is. I was there. The feedback that I got from the people in the audience was that they were extra ordinarily impressed with the quality of the information they brought to. I think they had somebody from the Federal Reserve.

Kevin: Yes, from the local fed and you know she was very careful what she said. You know how those people from the fed are, they don’t have loose lips.

Jim: No, she disclosed, she disclaimed up with the beginning that she was speaking for herself and not the fed and that’s when you should’ve started the tape recorder because you were getting straight from the horse’s mouth about what was going to happen. It was very interesting because I noticed how Jeremy teamed with you and created an event where he helped enhance the branding of his firm. So, Jeremy was working with you and I were working with you to help to build their brand. That’s one of the things, they were working with Yuan as well and we really appreciate all that you are doing with us. What you have coming up within the next issue because so far, we don’t only be looking backwards.

Kevin: Well, its going to be a really fun issue, you know with a cover story, that shoot I mentioned, the shoot on the cover is really sort of cool.

Jim: I have my iPhone out to check the photo.

Kevin: We have our CEO, a top at 150,000 dollar custom chopper from orange county choppers, you may have heard of them

Jim: Wao, for sure, for sure.

Kevin: [Laughs] So, that was being raffled off to a charity. We have a column about the internet of things.

Jim: The internet of things, what’s that?

Kevin: So, you know, you probably heard of Nest. It was required by Google I think.

Jim: Yeah, right. Right, right.

Kevin: So, that’s an example of everything’s going to be connected someday. So your thermostat can talk to your fridge. [Laughs]

Jim: Like my Chill bone connected to my hip bone kind of thing.

Kevin: Yeah, exactly. You know I had another column about investing, there was a good tax seminar and also another column about how you can take a Hedge Fund and wrap it in an insurance product. So, if you are hedge fund investor and you get hammered on taxes each year. You might want to put it inside insurance wrapper. It’s a great way to pass on wealth to the next generation, that sort of thing.

Jim: We are going to be talking more about that at the end of the show with my buddy Thomas Handler, he is a top estate guy almost in the country, I think around the world. Kevin, thank you so much for coming. We appreciate our meaty relationship with you. We look forward to have you back in the show before the turn of the year.

Kevin: Back at you Jim. Thanks so much for your help.

Jim: Alright, it our pleasure. Will be back after this! Wanda, its all yours. We are going to have UHealth, we are going to talk about reducing stress in your life. I know from the sound of my voice, it sounds like I am highly energized but this is positive energy and Wanda its now in your hands.

[Commercial Break]

Jim: Whoa, its my turn again. Its just absolutely amazing. It must be time for my UHealth reading. You know this is very appropriate for this as we get older, we all are at risk of developing cataracts, forgetting things. When you are using the new laser cataract procedure co-developed at Bascom Palmer Eye Institute in their new high def lenses. You can be seeing near, far and everywhere in between in no time. So, call 305-243-2020 to schedule or consultation. Trust your eyes to the best, Bascom Palmer ranked number one Eye Hospital in the country 11 years in a row by U.S News World Report. So, visit You call here comes again. 305-243-2020; to schedule your consultation today.

[Commercial Break]

Jim: Now that was just an awesome break. You know we always talk about here on my show but they are very important part of our communities. We all find out on a regular basis, we are talking about UHealth and that’s the university Miami Health System. They bring you the brightest minds and best care right here in South Florida and everybody knows by now that UHealth is big, it includes more than 3,000 specially doctors, dozens of locations from Palm Beach to Miami and now UHealth is implantation. Which sets UHealth apart is the comprehensive approach they bring to health care. You might have several doctors who have couple different health issues but do they ever talk to each other for cross references, symptoms and medications to make sure your care was second to none but UHealth, they do. More than collaborative care, UHealth is sponsored by the University of Miami, Miller school of medicine where research and clinical trials bring state of the art treatments to our community. Hey everybody, these are some of the best rated hospitals in the country. UHealth contains the Bascom Palmer Eye Institute, ranked number by U.S. News and world report for 11 years in a row and the world renowned Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Care Center. If you want to see what Health Care is going to look like in the future, just ask these guys today. You can learn more about UHealth in UHealth discovery series now online at UHealth It focuses on different department doctors and patients that make you UHealth great and breakthrough discoveries that are changing health care for the better. They are doing some really interesting and innovative things over there, they’ve even figured out a way to use a person’s own adult stem cells to re-grow their heart tissue. That means if you ever have a heart attack, they can help you save yourself. There is always something new to discover at UHealth and you can do it today. Discover how break through from UHealth can work for you. Call 305-243-3000 or visit UHealth to learn more today. [Song Played] Now, its time for a UHealth special guest. Today we’ve got Dr. Heidi Allespach, PhD. She is assistant professor for family medicine in community health as well as the director of behavioral medicine. So, welcome to the show Dr. Okay Wanda, you are the miracle worker. Hello Dr.? Okay, I am going to keep talking while we wait for Wanda to get the two wires connected and we get the doctor on. This is great segment, we are going to talk about reducing your stress and lowered nerves. We all need to reduce our stress especially while we are on the highway. So, the person that cuts you off, just let it go. Just let it go and reduce your stress, everything’s OK. We are going to talk with Dr. Allespach about how she helps people in the Pre-op ward relax when they are facing, Is she on the line? Hello? Wanda? Hello? Can you hear her Wanda? Hello Doctor?

Wanda: Alright! Hang on, let me figure this out.

Jim: Okay, thank you Wanda. Connect the wires please. I can only tape the answers for so long. Okay, Dr. Allespach please hold and can stay on the line while we bring you aboard. Wanda is really getting uptight. We’ve got two people trying to solve the problem, the tension in the office is palatable, hilarious now joined the phrase. Larry and Wanda trying to bring the doctor on and we could talk about being relaxed as they build their stress level higher and higher and I think that we have solved the problem. Doctor?

Dr. Allespach: Hello!

Jim: Hi. How are you?

Dr. Allespach: There you are.

Jim: [Laughs] Larry high-five to you. Now go on vacation. Get out of here. [Laughs]

Dr. Allespach: [Laughs] I didn’t mean to cause more stress here.

Jim: We know how to deal with stress, we were altering our focus while they were remaining calm in the other room.

Dr. Allespach: Okay. [Laughs]

Jim So, hey! Welcome to the show doctor. We really appreciate your good sense of humor.

Dr. Allespach: Thank you.

Jim: Listen, staying mellow is something we talk about all the time. We love to talk about mind fullness with people like Ashwin Mehra from your team.

Dr. Allespach: Yes!

Jim: So, how can you help us learn a couple of new tricks to calm down because we’ve got people that are [Inaudible 33:55], heading north on 995, trying to get to the dolphin game and while we play this, well that’s being me in 20 minutes.

Dr. Allespach: Okay, well so what we teach our patients here at University of Miami in the department of family medicine and community health. What we teach our patient is that while we can’t control our first reaction to things. So, someone cuts you off on 995 or I just say the traffic is really bad. We can control how long we hang on to those feelings and we do that by focusing on our thoughts because thoughts control feelings and the feelings in turn, affect the behavior. If we work on level of our thoughts, we can feel more mellow as you said and then control our reaction to the things.

Jim: Oh, this is what I do. I just try to relax and say, let it go. I am not going to make them any, well I try but I am not going to make them move any faster. So, why should just kick back and the other thing is, to leave yourself a little extra time because sometimes the roads can be somewhat unpredictable.

Dr. Allespach: Exactly. So to predict and plan! So, we see patients over here Jefferson Reaves Family Medicine Center and teach them about cognitive behavioral, therapy and strategies and we have kind of two parts of our mind, Jim. We have one part centered on fear and negativity and we have this other part that’s very wise and balanced and rational and when we are in part of mind that is very fear based and reactive, we always feel bad. So we sit in and we are thinking about the future, what if I don’t make it to work on time. What if my boss fires me, what if I get this horrible illness, what if I don’t get better from this illness? Those kinds of thoughts obviously create anxiety.

Jim: Oh my God. Getting rid of negative energy is the number one thing. I found that the most difficult thing to fight but the most effective battle to fight is negative self talk.

Dr. Heidi: Oh, there you go. So you know the lingo,

Jim: I try, I try.

Dr. Allespach: I am impressed. Yes and negative self talk is very loud and I think of it like a monkey that just sort of jumps up and down and screams. You know and if life is taking us in the past, in the would’ves, could’ves and the should’ves. You know if I’ve done this, I could have done that.

Jim: Ah, it eats me alive.

Dr. Allespach: And then thoughts create feelings. So, if we are thinking about the past, we feel depressed, guilty, ashamed etc. So the key is to, as you said a little while ago, acceptance and letting go is huge and really focusing on, okay what can I control right now? We are under this illusion Jim that basically we can control everything but truly, I don’t mean to scare the listeners anything but really the only thing we can control is right between our ears.

Jim: Oh, well done doc. A 100%. I agree totally and you know I just try to stay in and live in the present and deal with what I can deal with. Hey perfect laboratory example when I was trying to get you on the line there.

Dr. Allespach: [Laughs]

Jim: How I did by the way?

Dr. Allespach: I think you did pretty well, you made a joke out of it. Humor is wonderful and when we can laugh, it is – everything up.

Jim: I tried to build relationships with a happy place like you were talking about.

Dr. Allespach: That’s good, that’s good.

Jim: What’s another useful strategy that people can imply in their daily stressful lives?

Dr. Allespach: Well, so in addition to really getting in touch with that, part of our mind. Again we might not be able to control first reaction but then to say to ourselves, what can I tell myself will make me feel less anxious right now, less stress whatever it is? In addition to the, you know Dr. Mehta have spoken to about mindfulness. There is lot of different ways to bring ourselves into the presence and one of them is just a simply be very still and quiet and become aware of everything we see, everything we hear, everything we feel, everything we taste and everything we smell. Just do that for even 30 seconds, 3 times a day and that’s really powerful. You know I see patients with Dr. Tom Salerno and Dr. Ken Stahl after surgery after surgery and these patients you know are terrified there. There, they just had major heart surgery and this technique of really bringing them into the moment and just having them and just, be in the present really really grounds them. I think, I am a psychologist but I think its really good to lose your mind.

Jim: Ah, that’s too funny; or lose yourself in your mindlessness maybe.

Dr. Allespach: Yeah. Totally lose yourself and your mind and that’s why little kids are so happy because they don’t think about the future or the past. They are just in the moment and get angry, they get sad and they get scared but you know what, they bounce back to happiness. We used to be like that, remember when summer used to last forever.

Jim: Oh, yeah. 100%. Then I remember, I thought my wine was the most powerful thing in the world.

Dr. Allespach: Yeah, you know and basically as we grow up, we spend more time in the future and past and so anything we can do to bring ourselves in the moment. Breathing form our diaphragm or, what we call belly breathing is excellent. As we grow up, not only do we forget how to stay in the moment but we also forget how to breathe.

Jim: Oh, yeah. I am sitting here doing and now I hope I don’t fall asleep on you in the middle of the segment but I am calming down somehow which is somewhat nonproductive for entertaining radio but for this case, I’ll do it.

Dr. Allespach: [Laughs] you are belly breathing right now? Eh?

Jim: [Deep Breathing]

Dr. Allespach: [Laughs] There you go.

Jim: Most certainly.

Dr. Allespach: So, the best way we instruct patients to put one hand on their chest and one hand on their stomach and to really focus on their lower hand on their stomach and really try to get their hand move more. We always give our patients homework, you know to practice changing thoughts, change feelings and to practice being in the moment with a little mindfulness and awareness exercise. Also to practice diaphragmatic or belly breathing 3 times a day, usually 5 deep breaths, you know in the morning, at noon, at night. In this conscious attention to doing stuff for ourselves rather than getting caught up in the craziness of the day and overdoing it. We become human beings instead of human doings.

Jim: Oh, my gosh. I think I feel like I am codependent to the entire world some days.

Dr. Allespach: Yes and we all do, we all do. That’s normal.

Jim: Thank you doctor. Makes me feel better.

Dr. Allespach: We live in the world which especially, you know in our country, we are very high powered country and there are bunch of achievers and competitive and for a society pushes us to achieve more and do more and have more and that’s a huge burden.

Jim: Doctor, we’ve got about a minute left.

Dr. Allespach: Yeah.

Jim: Two things, how do people find you and the best take away you give them?

Dr. Allespach: They can find me through the department of family medicine community health and the best take away, just to stop, put it in your schedule to have 10 minutes, 15 minutes of time a day when you can just practice some of these techniques and until you can integrate the throughout the day. Just stop and

Jim: Smell the roses?

Dr. Allespach: Take care of oneself.

Jim: Oh my Gosh.

Dr. Allespach: Be a little kid again.

Jim: Oh My gosh, well listen I can’t wait to be a little kid. I am going to head up the Dolphin game, I am going to use your breathing techniques as I am trying to make sure that I can’t help my situation. So, I am just going to deal with it. I’ve left enough time, its going to be great. Thank you so much doc. Wait, I am going to get you and Ashwin on and we can have dulling mellowness.

Dr. Allespach: That’d be very cool.

Jim: Okay, we will work with him, we work with you and we will work with you to do that. Thank you so much for joining us Doctor.

Dr. Allespach: Thanks so much Jim. I appreciate it.

Jim: My pleasure.

Dr. Allespach: Ba-Bye.

Jim: Bye. We will be right back with Tom Handler, he is the number one guy to protect your assets, back after this. [Song Playing] And for you Tom, Tom’s holding so for you Tom, I want you to know that this guy is a 3rd generation performer. He is a star and you know, oh boy lets start again, I got off track. You know is good business to give your customers what they want.

[Commercial Break]

Jim: Join me. I will be interrogating then I will be cheering on dolphins to the divisional victory. Join me at the game, go to, for your tickets right now.

[Commercial Break]

Alright everybody, you know I go to all these conferences to meet all these really cool people we had last week, we had Richard Wilson and we are talking about his wealth management conference. I would just add it was great and we are going to do some more wealth management and I want to show you how great the Wilson conference was. I am going to meet; I wanted to meet probably the top wealth management asset preservation guy that I have ever met, Tom Handler. Tom, are you out there?

Tom Handler: I am out there. How are you Jim?

Jim: I am doing great Tom. I guess you are back in Chicago now.

Tom Handler: I am and it was a few snow flurries are blowing by my window as were speaking.

Jim: Oh well listen. It’s hot as the Dickens down here, maybe we can meet in the middle somewhere.

Tom Handler: [Laughs]

Jim: But you know you were terrific. I really enjoyed meeting you at the conference. You had some really good ideas. We can’t go through them all. I kind of touted your appearance today is how people could learn just the basics of what’s going on out there and remember when we get you on in future for full show and really talk about some details but Tom what are the some other changes that are going on out there in the family office space the people that have all the wealth looking to protect it. How do you help?

Tom Handler: Well I think there are a lot of trends in the industry. There is no question that overtime is getting harder and harder for families to preserve family businesses and their wealth from generation to generation and that’s not ever been easy. For example the last 10, 15years we had unprecedented regulations that are global and that can apply to family offices so things like the Patriot Act, Dodd Frank, Sarbanes Oxley. You know these are very serious voluminous regulations and families are struck dealing with them. At the same time you had an exploring litigation market, you got scope in through your liability exist in the past, lawsuits are running rampant. So those risks are increasing. You know at the same time global P & C markets are contracting so its getting little tougher to cover those risks and when you put it altogether, it doesn’t look like a very good picture then add on top of that you have a whole host of government agencies being excessively aggressive. Largely functioning with little congressional supervision and tremendous power and discretion and when you are on the radar screen, whatever they decide, do to you and acumen incurring massive legal fees even thought you have not done anything trying to extricate yourself from these proceedings. So it’s a very slippery slope for these families so the key really is about long term risk management all way across the board, you know the risk management and activities and conduct, in business structures, in the conduct of business, in elevate levels of compliance. So its really about crossing the cheese and doting the eyes and it looks to me like this trend is like is needed to escalate, going forward so its really about not making the stakes that are wealth destructive events, in that regard, that’s where the asset protection and pre-marital planning come in to play because they can be very destructive of wealth.

Jim: Now you have created a couple of different things to your trade mark, the asset protection profile and I just love this Stealth Pre-nup. I am not just going to talk about the asset protection file. You got to tell me what is Stealth Pre-nup?

Tom Handler: Now one of the keys to enforceability of pre-nuptial agreements or postnuptial agreements is the complete full and fair exchange of information and so for afferent families that means many cases literally audited, financial statements compiled by CPA firm. So its very high standard. If there is any missing assets, sort of a hidden or significant mistake you run the risk of having the entire agreement through on the court. That disclosure obligation is an absolute requirement for the enforcement of those documents so want a little exercise and then we reviewed every case over 5 year period in every state and territories where Pre-nup or Post-nup were set aside. The factors were all over the board. So bottom line is that at the end of the day a judge or jury has tremendous discretion and the problem is they may not enforce the perfectly valid agreement and they often force settlement, they often decide against the party with the de-pocket. So in view of that we devised the structure, at this point 15 to 18 years ago and frankly didn’t talk about it until about 10 years ago but the idea is that instead of following the lead of matrimonial and family law part rather use structures as a superior method to protect these asset. So the stealth pre-nup was put in place to do just that so the idea is that a very wealthy family or a business owner or professional athlete or celebrity who doesn’t want to have Pre-nup discussion which can be difficult or they don’t want the risk of having the spouse go to the press and make a mess and hurt their career and have adverse impact on the family reputation or their professional reputation. The stealth Pre-nup allows you to put structure in place either before the marriage or after the marriage. If you do it after the marriage it has to be done with only pre-marital asset that you can trace and tie, have an auditoria to prove that or you do it before the marriage. So the idea is that we have a business entity like a manager typically a virtual family office running a family holding company almost like a fund structure that you would see a private equity or hedge fund and in turn that family ltd liability company holding company can only be formed in a very few states that have superior laws for assets protection or approximately 30 foreign countries that have similar laws or could be either way and ultimately that interest in that family holding company is on and offshore as protection trust. So that combination provides multiple levels of asset protection that are very formidable and today its never been set aside so I am like Messi, pre-nup of movie fame. Just one has not yet been effectively challenged.

Jim: Well tom that’s an awesome stuff. I know we only scratched the surface we talked about getting you back on the show in the future. I am going to be in touch with you via email to do that. I just want to give people a taste of what I learnt in the Wilson conference and Richard, he did a great job, putting everything together I really enjoyed meeting you. I hope we will be able to get you back on the show real soon.

Tom Handler: It was a pleasure. I enjoyed the conference as well and enjoyed meeting you.

Jim: Alright well listen we will talk real soon. I will be coming to Chicago to see and our friend mike real soon.

Tom Handler: Right! Sounds good.

Jim: Alright take care. Hey this was a great show. We had an absolutely awesome lineup of guests we had Kevin Gayle, talking about the south Florida business and wealth magazine and what he’s got coming up and what they have been doing. We had mellowness from Dr. Allespach at the university Miami health system and then we had Tom Handler, he was awesome as well. Now I want to end the show by thanking our sponsors of course South Florida Business and Wealth Magazine and CCIM Miami and UHealth. I want to also thank the NFL alumni, the Miami dolphins, the Miami marlins and social media 305. The tweets are my own. Social media 305 tells me how to do it. Of course the Lauren’s Kids, the Aztec Group, Bergstrom Center for Real Estate Studies. But most importantly I want to thank you all listeners because without you, I would have no show. So please go to our Facebook page like our show and tell your friends, please join our community, and give us feedback, comments and tell us who you want to hear from. You know I am watching our trend and they are going up. So the people out there listening believe or not including you. So tweet me at FriedOnBusiness. Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube. Like I said the website’s rocking. If you missed our show, it will be up there on real soon. This is Jim Fried from fried on business. Look for us on 880 AM next week. We will have Cindy Abbot talking about constant contact in marketing yourself. Remember this is not the rehearsal, this is your life. First that wants to do something, finds the way to do it, the other finds the excuse. Now go out there and make it happen. I am out of here. I am on my way to the dolphin’s game. [Song Played].



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