I just had an enlightening conversation on the air about business networking and sex.
No, it’s not what you think. It was actually about the differences between how men and women approach networking, and my guide was none other than networking expert Dr. Ivan Misner, founder and chairman of BNI, the world’s largest business networking organization.
BNI just did a huge survey of some 12,000 businesspeople from around the globe, and it turned up some fascinating and useful findings about how to network effectively across gender lines.
Women, Misner said, tend to be relational in their networking approach. They build relationships and trust before engaging in business.
Men, he said, tend to be transactional. They focus on credentials as a sign of expertise and credibility.
These differences can derail the VCP Process of networking, Misner said. In VCP, you must have visibility in the business community before you establish credibility. Only then can you focus on profitability.
However, men are more likely than women to try to go straight from visibility to profitability, he said. And women tend to go from visibility to credibility, but they never get around to asking for the business.
I see the VCP Process in action every day here in South Florida. Culturally, it takes a long time to establish relationships that eventually result in new business opportunities.
Misner said this goes straight to the heart of referrals. Every time you give a referral, you give away a bit of your reputation. Better make sure your referral can deliver.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Respect and trust are absolute keys to the business relationship, Misner said. Not surprising, men and women approach this differently.
Women complain that men tend to introduce themselves like a resume. Men are looking for points to check off. Women tend to introduce themselves in a relational way. For instance, by asking, “Who invited you?”
“I’m not saying one’s good and one’s bad. They’re just different. And it’s important to understand that if you’re talking with somebody of the opposite sex, learning how to communicate in a way that connects with them better is effective,” Misner said.
BNI found that people who focus on a relational approach to networking generate more business in the long run.
“Networking is more about farming that it is about hunting. It’s about cultivating those relationships, and that’s where you’re building the credibility,” Misner said.
Personally, I call it “playing the long game.” I’m not really in it to close this deal. I’m in it to get to know the person and close at least a number of them in the future.
If you’re cold calling and direct marketing, you’re not building a base of recurring business, Misner said.
“The beauty of networking is you build this ongoing referral so you have people out there sending business your way, and it’s a much more effective way to build a business. I decided years ago I never wanted to cold call again the rest of my life,” he said.
In addition to networking, Ivan Misner and I talked about his latest book titled “Who’s In Your Room?” It’s available as a BNI member, and it explores the the following scenario: If your life was a room and it only had an entrance – no exit – would you be a lot more selective about who gets in?
Hint: Most people say yes.
“When you bring somebody into a network who’s not a good fit, it’s hard to get them out of that network,” Misner said.
We talked about a lot more, including the role of diet and health on networking. Click here to listen to the full interview with Ivan Misner of BNI.
