When I go to a networking event, I get really charged up. Some might even say I get filled with nervous energy … call it pre-traumatic stress syndrome.
Yes, even I can get nervous before an important networking event. It’s anticipatory energy. I turn it into a positive. I get all fired up when I meet people face-to-face. It is something I live for.
The minute I shake that first hand, I am on. I’m focused, and I’m working the room one person at a time.
That’s “mindfulness” – staying focused on the moment.
But not everyone can get themselves focused, said Dr. Ivan Misner on a recent broadcast. Our sound-byte society has conditioned them to exercise when he calls “continuous partial attention.”
In other words, people are only partially focused on the conversation, and that’s a real problem if you want to build a powerful personal network, said the founder and chairman of BNI, the world’s largest business networking organization.
Even busy billionaires can afford to be mindful, Misner said, recounting a time when Richard Branson had a short conversation with Misner’s 16-year-old son.
The conversation wasn’t long, Misner said, but Branson gave the young man his undivided attention. And he did that for every individual he spoke to that evening.
Of course, everyone is guilty of having become distracted during a conversation, Misner said. When networking, it’s mostly a case of looking around the room to see who else is there.
When that happens, he said, the right thing to do is fess up and focus. Admit that you were distracted, apologize, and ask the other person to repeat the last statement. Make sure you don’t let yourself drift again.
Mindfulness applies especially to interaction with electronic devices, which you should never do when having a meeting with someone, Misner said.
“Why do that? Be present wherever you are. When you’re at home, be at home. When you’re at a networking event, be at that networking event,” he said.
I think the problem is we’ve become a “documentation nation.” We whip out the phones and start recording and posting the moment rather than being in it.
Hey, whatever it is, it can wait until we’re done talking.
One good way to remember someone post-event, Misner said, is to jot a note on the back of their business card. But ask them before you do it. It’s just polite. You’re really on top of things if your own card already provides space for notes, he said.
And in some cultures, Asian mostly, it’s completely inappropriate to deface a person’s business card in any way. Even if they give you permission to write on it.
If you really want to impress them, Misner said, say something nice about the appearance of the card.
We talked about a lot more good stuff, including Misner’s forthcoming book titled “Who’s In Your Room?” Imagine your life as a room that has only one entrance and no exit. Would you be a lot more careful about the people you allow in?
Misner tackles the question.
Click here to listen to the full interview with Dr. Ivan Misner of BNI.
